I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
