i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
