he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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