I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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