barbara walters just said penis...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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