We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
