...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
