rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
