I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
