he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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