Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
