By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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