I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
