thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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