she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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