i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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