I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
