literally had 100 drinks last night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
