I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
