she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
