he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize