I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
