She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
