In the future we'll all be gay
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
