Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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