You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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