I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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