How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
