never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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