How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
