The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
