I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
