he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize