They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
