I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
