yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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