Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
