Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
