Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
