Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
there is puke in my bra ... again
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
