I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
