In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
