I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
