I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
