wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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