i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
