thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
