I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
