just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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