So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
