we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize