you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
