So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
