who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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