The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
