Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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