everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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