This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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