What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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