doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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