Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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