I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
