just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
