I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
