I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
