We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
