No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
