If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
