omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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