Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
